


A Very Revealing Text Message

by Cornerverse



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Everyone loves and supports Marinette, F/M, Gabriel's on a parenting kick, I'll add characters as they appear - Freeform, Lila Rossi's Lies Are Exposed, Lila is literally the worst, Reveal, Swearing, Text shenanigans, The Chloé and Fang friendship strikes again, but just know that pretty much everyone shows up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-23 00:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23002612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornerverse/pseuds/Cornerverse
Summary: Adrien gets a text message from Marinette, confessing her undying love for him.The only problem?Marinette didn't send that message.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 216
Kudos: 1995





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> One text can reveal a hell of a lot of things!
> 
> Also fuck that rule of 'if you reveal your identity you have to give up the Miraculous'. We're not even addressing that hot mess.

Marinette was in her room, like she usually was in the evening, sketching away. Barring any Akuma attacks, she actually had a free night. And no, that was not an invitation to the universe to have an Akuma pop up. 

Just as she was thinking she should take advantage of being ahead for once and go to sleep (somewhat) early, there was a knocking sound on the trapdoor to her balcony. 

That was... odd. No one should be up there. Perhaps it was a stray pigeon?

No. There it was again. It was too rhythmic to be a pigeon. Which left only two things that could make it up to the balcony: an Akuma, or Chat Noir. 

Given that Akumas didn't tend to knock, it was likely the latter. Which wasn't entirely odd. Chat Noir liked to pop in on her every once in a while. Get a few treats from the bakery and try to convince her to come be Multimouse again. 

However, when she opened the balcony door, she found a different green-eyed blonde staring at her. 

"A-Adrien?!" Marinette exclaimed. "What-where-how the FUCK did you get up here?"

"Long story?" Adrien shrugged. "But I got your text after fencing let out and it's been driving me crazy all afternoon! And I didn't want to wait until class tomorrow because all this is going to be a hell of a talk and-"

"Wait, what?" She shook her head. "What text? I didn't text you since this morning?"

"You didn't?" He said. "But then what... hold on. Let me pull up what you sent."

He took his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it before handing it over. On the screen was a large wall of text, coming from Marinette's number. A large wall of text she absolutely did not send.

As she read through the text, a pit of dread built in her stomach. 

The text was a love confession. An almost overbearing and creepy love confession. The 'We're totally soulmates! Made for each other! There's no one who can love you the way I do! You belong with me!" Kind of overbearing and creepy. 

"I d-didn't type this!" Marinette exclaimed. "That's not- I would never do this through a text! And I especially wouldn't be so... possessive! I have no idea what- oh. I am going to murder Alya!!"

"What?" Adrien asked, tilting his head. "Why?"

"Ugh!" She groaned, handing him his phone back. "After gym Alya told me I dropped my phone and she found it. I'm not sure if I dropped it or if she snagged it, which I really can't be mad about because that's just karma. But I can be mad at her for sending that message!"

"Oh," he said, kind of deflating a little. "It was a prank? I... that's kind of a mean prank, isn't it? Making me think you're in love with me?"

"No, th-that's not-" she stammered out. "It's not a - a prank exactly. It's- she's trying to h-help."

"Help with what?" He wondered. 

Oh boy. 

Marinette started pacing. If Adrien wasn't literally right here she'd be rambling and ranting to herself. Now was not a good time to discuss this! But then... he came over here to talk about it in the middle of the night, probably sneaking out of his house given the late hour, and somehow climbing be building up to her balcony because he thought she was in love with him.

And while most of her was screaming that this was bad, that he was in love with someone else, that he was going to (gently) reject her... the fact that he came here to be alone with her after reading that, and felt safe enough to be around her given the possessiveness of the message that he thought was from her.... it gave her some sort of hope. 

This was nerve wracking as hell! But she had a way out. She could just say it was about something else. Maybe about how Alya is trying to set them up! That would be a good excuse both now and the next time Alya tried to force her into confessing! She wouldn't have to think up something on the spot or hope for a distraction. 

But... having that way out... somehow helped calm her down. With a deep breath, she decided to take a chance. 

"She's tr-trying to help," Marinette began. "Because- because while I wouldn't say any of the stuff in that message like that I- I do.... l-like you. Like-like that. And I know you love someone else! That's okay! It's one of the reasons I wasn't going to say anything and fuck can you say something because now I'm rambling and-"

"It's okay," Adrien said. "I feel like I'm supposed to be smacked with surprise, but I already went through the "holy shit she likes me!" Phase when I got the message."

She nodded, scared to say anything. Her emotions were going haywire. She confessed! It was in a weird as hell situation but she confessed! And he didn't go running for the hills!

But he also wasn't answering. Which was terrifying. Even if he was going to reject her, she'd at least like for him to say it!

"N-not to put you on the spot," Marinette said. "But..."

"No, that's okay!" Adrien replied. "I'm the one who showed up on your balcony, after all!"

"You still haven't explained that," she said. 

"Anyway," he said, dodging the question. "My feelings are very complicated. Because... i mean, I already told you about that girl I like."

"Yeah," she said, swallowing down her anxiety. 

"Well she doesn't feel the same," he said, giving a sad smile. "But I fell for her, and then I started to see you and you remind me so much of her. From the way you look, to the way you stand up for others, to the near-infinite kindness you have, it all reminded me of her. So I wrote off any feelings I have for you as projection, if that makes sense. And when I first got that message, it hit me full force. I spent hours trying to figure out if I like you or if I just wanted to like you because you're similar to the girl who rejected me and-"

"Wait, back up," she shook her head. "I thought you were talking about Kagami, but she's not that similar to me and she definitely hasn't rejected you!"

"I-huh?" He asked. "Oh god I just realized I asked you to help me on a date with Kagami! I am such a jackass!"

"No, that's okay," she laughed. "You didn't know. But still, you and Kagami..."

"It wasn't Kagami I meant," he said. "She's a friend, but not like that. I tried to like her because it was moving on from the rejection, something I didn't try with you because you're so similar to the other girl. But I didn't feel the same about her. And I know I need to outright talk to her but it never seems like a good time."

"I know that feeling," she muttered. "But if it wasn't Kagami, then who?"

"That's... difficult to explain," he said. 

While waiting for an answer, she tried to puzzle it out. Adrien said that the girl looked like her, but there wasn't anyone he knew who looked like her. None of their classmates made the list. Neither did any of the models Adrien usually worked with during photoshoots.

Kagami came the closest, as they both had black hair and Asian features, but he'd already said it wasn't her. And even if they looked identical, their personalities weren't. 

Then she remembered the one time he had ever compared her to another girl. He'd called her "our everyday Ladybug". And, well, that almost made sense, since she was Ladybug and would therefore act exactly like herself. 

And she almost shook it off, because how would Adrien know Ladybug's personality enough to somehow make the connection back to Marinette? 

Except she knew another green-eyed blonde. One who had been rejected by Ladybug. The one who seemed interested in Marinette but initially rejected her for herself. Who low-key flirted with Kagami. Who was always a bit more patient with Chloé, even when she was being a brat. 

Just as she was about to brush it off as coincidence,she realized that it would explain how he had climbed up to her balcony so easily. It felt like a million little puzzle pieces clicked into place at once. And it all made sense to her. 

"Holy fuck you're Chat Noir!"

Even if she hadn't already known, his reaction said everything. He wasn't confused, he was panicked, and wondering how she figured it out so he could come up with a cover story. 

"I have no idea what you mean!" Adrien exclaimed. "Me? Chat Noir? That's just silly!"

"You called me your 'everyday Ladybug'," Marinette said, crossing her arms. "Ladybug is the only girl who fits, except she's never rejected "Adrien". But she did reject a different boy with green eyes and blonde hair."

"Well- I just- fuck," he sighed. "Don't tell LB she might actually murder me."

And Marinette was pacing again. She was going over the fact that she had rejected Adrien fucking Agreste for himself goddamn it! And he'd fallen for her twice, somehow. And if she was entirely honest she'd done the same thing, as the only reasons she didn't let herself fall further for Chat was because of Adrien and the secret identity shenanigans. 

They were a fucking train wreck. 

"The Chat Noir thing isn't a deal breaker, right?" Adrien asked. "I know I sort of rejected you as Chat but that was half the whole "I thought I liked you because you remind me of Ladybug" and half "you don't know me as Chat so it's probably a celebrity crush and not liking the real me" thing!"

"It's not a deal breaker," Marinette admitted. "As long as it's not a deal breaker that I did the same thing, and that the whole Weredad incident started because I was trying to keep you from figuring out a certain secret that's probably not going to be a secret much longer."

"What?" He asked. 

"Were idiots, kitty," she sighed. "I fell for you twice while rejecting you for yourself. And you did the same with me. And I am so going to kill Tikki and Plagg for letting this go on for so long!"

She could see the gears turning in his head. And from the weight on her shoulder, she guessed Tikki had given up on hiding. 

"On the bright side," Adrien laughed nervously, "you can't kill me for screwing up and letting slip about my secret identity because you just told me yours."

"True," she said. "Though while I'm glad we got to talk this all out, I'm still going to kill Alya for sending that message. Especially since she needs to figure out how to not make me sound like some kind of crazed fan."

"To be fair," he grinned. "I have seen the wall of pictures."

"Oh god don't remind me," she groaned. 

"He's not allowed to comment on it," Plagg spoke up. "Considering he has every piece of Ladybug merchandise ever made."

"Plagg!" Tikki huffed. "Let them have their moment!"

As she dragged him off, Marinette and Adrien laughed. Then he took her hand. And while she was a little overwhelmed, because "oh my god Adrien is holding my hand!!!!", it was calmed a bit. The knowledge of him being both Adrien and Chat Noir helped to calm the feeling in her. Instead of an excited tremble in her heart, if felt like settling down. In a good way. 

"So," Adrien said. "I don't want to assume, but if we both like each other then-"

And he was cut off with a kiss. That definitely brought the explosion of emotion back to the forefront. When they parted, she was pretty sure she could see stars in his eyes. 

"I think that sums it up," Marinette giggles. 

"Yeah, it really does," Adrien grinned. 

"Now," she said. "While I would love to do that again, you should probably get home before your dad finds you missing, and we have to send out another search party."

"Well at least we won't have to fight Santa this time," he said. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all guessed the 'twist' so I'm just gonna toss the tags in there. 
> 
> Also my standard 'Fuck you Miracle Queen didn't happen' rule applies, so Chloé is good.

"Hey girl," Alya greeted. "Glad to see you're early for once!"

"Well, I was determined this time," Marinette said, setting down a bag of pastries and two cups of coffee. "I needed to talk to you this morning."

"About what?" She wondered. 

"The whole phone trick you pulled," she replied. "Look, I'll accept the karma of me having stolen your phone to be helpful, but seriously. Sending that text? Not cool. You're lucky it worked out, so thanks I guess, but that was not okay and could've seriously backfired."

"What are you talking about?" She asked. 

"You know exactly what I mean," she gave her a look. 

While Alya gave her an expression so confused that it just might be innocent, Marinette felt a sudden weight on her head and arms wrapped around her waist. 

"Morning, Princess," Adrien muttered. "How are you awake?"

"Morning, kitten," Marinette said. "And the answer is coffee. I grabbed you some too on the way out."

"Bugaboo you are the light of my life right now!" He said, taking the offered cup. 

"So," Alya grinned mischievously. "What's up with you two this morning."

"You know exactly what's up," Marinette said. "And again, while it worked out, I really don't appreciate you forcing my hand like that."

"She's right," Adrien nodded. "Luckily I was okay and was just going to try and talk her down from a little of the wording in that text. It could've really backfired if I didn't take it well, and she'd have no clue why. You really need to work on writing fake love confessions."

"I'm still lost," Alya said.

Marinette was starting to think something was actually up. While she tried to give Alya a stare down, hoping she would crack, more classmates trickled in. All of them noticed how cozy she and Adrien were, and they were getting some very excited grins. Along with a few instances of money being exchanged, but she was going to ignore the class bets. 

Although, Chloé seemed not to notice as she leaned against Adrien. 

"Ugh," Chloé groaned. "As much as I love having Jagged at the hotel, Fang is a headache. Love him too, but it’s ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous! Oh! Coffee!"

"Chloé," Marinette warned. "Give Adrien his coffee back. He stayed up until three am texting me."

"Well that's his fault," she said. "I didn't get any sleep at all because I had to babysit a crocodile!"

She was half way through another sip when she noticed that Adrien still had his arms around Marinette. There was a moment where she just stared, processing. Then the rest of that coffee was chugged, and she snagged the other one on the desk.

"Excuse you," Marinette glared. "That one's mine."

"I'll buy you another later," Chloé said. "I knew I felt a disturbance in the force last night. Couldn't you have waited another week? Now I owe Alix money."

Before either could respond, she walked off to her desk and absentmindedly sipped the coffee as she tried to stay awake. 

"Don't worry," Marinette said, holding up the pastry bag. "I brought breakfast too."

"Oh, thanks!" Adrien grinned, finally letting her go to take the bag. "As I said, the light of my life!"

As he dug through the bag and pulled out a croissant, and unfortunate addition found itself attached to his arm. Neither Hero was sure where she'd materialized from, so they jumped in surprise. 

"Oh, Adrien," Lila grinned, smiling somewhat flirtatiously. "Should you really be eating that? I'm sure Marinette's baking is fine, but you do have your figure to maintain!"

"He's allowed to eat," Marinette glared. 

She would've said more, but Adrien gave her a look. Not a disapproving one, but a 'let me handle this' one. A definite upside to having Adrien be Chat Noir is that she could read his expressions so well in these situations. 

"You know, Lila," Adrien said, pointedly taking her hand off his arm. "While I’m discouraged from eating anything too unhealthy, I do have free reign to eat whatever I want. As long as I keep a healthy weight, which is easy with my extracurricular activities, I could buy enough cheese to feed a small god and no one would care!"

He and Marinette laughed at the inside joke, much to Lila's confusion and annoyance. Especially once he put his arm around his new girlfriend and decided to ignore her. 

"Okay," Alya said. "You two still need to explain what exactly you're mad at me for because I am so lost!"

"Yesterday when I 'lost' my phone," Marinette said. "You sent a text to Adrien, pretending to be me confessing my love. I understand you were impatient and trying to help but that wasn't okay and could've gone so wrong!"

"I didn't- I'd never-" she stopped, before turning to Lila with an incredulous expression. "What the hell did you do?!"

"Nothing!" Lila said. "I have no clue what you're talking about!"

"While I'm sure she did something," Marinette said. "What does she have to do with this?"

"Well," Alya looked a bit guilty. "I wasn't the one who found your phone yesterday. But we knew that if you found out Lila and been near it, you'd get all suspicious and pick a fight. I thought it'd be better to avoid that and tell you I found it."

Oh. Lila stealing her phone and sending that message makes more sense. Though in her case, it wasn't intended to be 'helpful'. 

"Right," Marinette said. "Sorry I accused you of sending that message Alya. Although, considering I had no idea about Lila's involvement, you're not going to say that my annoyance at her over this is 'jealousy', right?"

"I'm sorry," Lila said, realizing she'd been caught and trying to control the situation. "I was trying to help. I know you have a crush on Adrien, but you hadn't been able to confess. I figured sending a text might be the easiest way to confront the whole thing. Especially since if I helped set you up with Adrien, you wouldn't think I'm trying to steal him from you, and we could be friends!"

"I get what you were doing," Alya said, placing an arm on Lila's shoulder. "But that wasn't okay."

"You really need to work on your love confessions," Adrien said. "The wording was very overzealous. You're lucky I know Marinette well enough to know that she would never be that possessive. Hell, despite being in love with me, she tried to help me date Kagami! And they're still friends!"

"Oh, speaking of," Marinette said. "We need to talk to Kagami about this. I'm pretty sure she'll be okay with you choosing me, but it might be a little rocky for a bit. I hope she won't be too upset though."

Talk to Luka too," Juleka interjected. 

Oh. Right. Marinette nodded, already planning to stop by the Couffaine houseboat later. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna tag all the classmates because even if they didn't speak yet they all get a few lines next chapter. 
> 
> Also sleep-deprived Chloé is ramble-y and has even less of a filter than usual, so she's fun.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too excited to not post another chapter of this, since I finished writing it. The eternal struggle between 'I should publish all of this now!' and 'No, wait for another day' is always killing me. 
> 
> Also the screenshot links aren't relevant, they're just joke images.

Miss Bustier had arrived and asked them to take their seats as she started the lesson for the day. 

Thankfully, their teacher had a fairly relaxed policy on using cell phones in class. While they were banned during tests as a precaution against cheating, they could use them as long as they weren't disruptive, and kept their grades up. 

So Marinette wasn't surprised when she got a message from Alya. 

**Foxyblogger:** Hey. I know I can be a little... pushy when it comes to getting you to confess. 

**Foxyblogger:** but even at my most impatient I would never steal your phone and text Adrien your confession. And I am super sorry if I did something to make you think I would. I mean, I know you thought I was the only one who had it but you didn't even go 'maybe someone else did that before you found it', so I'm sorry for the fact that you weren't suspicious at all. 

**Foxyblogger:** Also thanks for being only mildly upset when you thought I did that instead of raining down righteous fury. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** It's okay! When I thought it was you, I thought you were just trying to help. 

**Foxyblogger:** Can I ask... 

**Foxyblogger:** What did Adrien mean about how Lila's fake message had issues?

 **Let's Get This Bread:** [screenshot1.png](https://66.media.tumblr.com/05cb1c8483f385b33e025debf9cba2a3/cce4a1075ffd7dbc-d4/s640x960/f63ade82d81addabdf1b6602f6ca75cdd9638b9d.jpg)

 **Let's Get This Bread:** [screenshot2.png](https://66.media.tumblr.com/0548dc2e6757153a7d7aaa2e34c7c5d4/tumblr_mvktxdGKUV1rtp3uyo1_640.jpg)

 **Let's Get This Bread:** [screenshot3.png](https://66.media.tumblr.com/e162f9041c284611876b0abc977f820c/tumblr_inline_ptm2vfdYtY1sox3zr_1280.png)

 **Let’s Get This Bread:** [screenshot4.png](https://66.media.tumblr.com/1dc8a06e846b16599fe35245067b3c89/6f9c921ba3987adf-5c/s400x600/c630f46ca2b7a87d9d9962494b7316cdaca126d2.gifv)

 **Foxyblogger:** Okay. Yikes. 

**Foxyblogger:** I'm going to talk to her because I'm concerned about her past relationships if that's what she thinks is a romantic confession. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** Alya.....

 **Let's Get This Bread:** I know you don't want me to call her a liar again but this is getting even worse. Lying was one thing, and then the whole getting me expelled thing and now this? 

**Let's Get This Bread:** Please hear me out without interruption, okay?

 **Foxyblogger:** She didn't 'try to get you expelled'? It was a misunderstanding?

 **Let's Get This Bread:** Saying I pushed her down the stairs is a 'misunderstanding'?

 **Foxyblogger:** She admitted that she tripped and thought you did it, but is sure that she was just imagining it because you were mad at her. Which I get. I mean, look at you and Adrien with that gum incident from the first day?

 **Let's Get This Bread:** Alya, please listen this time. 

**Foxyblogger:** Okay. I'll stay quiet until you're done. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** My issue with Lila has never been jealousy. Which I can prove by pointing out how I deal with other people who like Adrien. I'm friends with Kagami and worried about how she'll feel now that we're together. I didn't like Chloé because she was a brat, but we've been getting along better since she's trying to be nice and I'm okay with her being around Adrien because they're friends. And the worst I have ever said about his many fangirls is 1.) that they never met him and just think he's pretty and 2.) some of them don't respect him as a person because he's a celebrity. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** My issue with Lila is that she's lying. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** She doesn't know Ladybug, or Jagged Stone, and she wasn't in Achu recently because she was still in Paris. And while some things are just "I witnessed this or someone else did", you know I'm not the type to make up things about people. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** She keeps trying to say stuff to you guys to discredit me. At first it was the "jealous over Adrien" thing. That I was bullying her because she was ‘my rival’. Then it escalated to her framing me for theft and assault. And given the fact that she wants Adrien for herself, do you really think she was sending that message from my phone out of the goodness of her heart? Adrien could've very easily read it as me being some crazy stalker type and used it to get a restraining order. If she was just trying to help, a simple "hey, I have a crush on you" message would've been fine. Not several pages worth of text. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** I can see you're still skeptical but Adrien can and will back me up. He had reasons for not coming forward before but that's out the window now. 

**Foxyblogger:** ...

 **Foxyblogger:** okay when you put it that way I get where you're coming from and I feel like kind of an asshole for not taking you seriously. 

**Foxyblogger:** I'm going to start a group chat and I want to hear what Adrien has to say. 

* * *

_Case File 1_ has been created.

 **Foxyblogger** has added **Let’s Get This Bread** , **Sunshine** , **How The Turntables** , **Rollersnake** , **Kim Possible** , **Maximum Overdrive** , **Poison Ivy** , **Small Titty Goth GF** , **Artsy Fartsy** , **Fluttershy** , **Big Ol Eyebrows** , **Hivemind** and **Teenage Witch** to _Case File 1_

 **Foxyblogger:** So while I know everyone wants to congratulate #Adrienette, there are questions that need to be answered about the "how". 

**Fluttershy:** Didn't Lila already admit to helping them through the text? It was a bit much but it sounds like she was trying to help. 

**Small Titty Goth GF:** That's an understatement. I'm surprised Marinette wasn't Akumatized when she found out. 

**Maximum Overdrive:** I'm surprised she hasn't been Akumatized in general. 

**Rollersnake:** I know! Hawkdick has to be sleeping when she's upset or something. 

**Kim Possible:** Mari is too pure. 

**How The Turntables:** You and I both know she has her limits. Do you remember when we were nine? 

**Kim Possible:** We are never discussing that again. 

**Poison Ivy:** Seriously though! I'm our usual center of positivity and even I got Akumatized!

 **Sunshine:** If Marinette ever gets Akumatized then we are so fucked

 **Sunshine:** They will have to call in literally every Hero. 

**Teenage Witch:** I wish I knew that before I lost money on some bets. 

**Artsy Fartsy:** I thought we weren't supposed to discuss the bets with Mari because she'll kill us?

 **Big Ol Eyebrows:** Yeah that was the plan. We're dead now. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** Please. Did you really think I wouldn't notice you guys betting on that? As long as you don't purposely upset someone in the hopes that they'll get Akumatized I'll let it slide. 

**Foxyblogger:** Anyway. Due to the conversations this morning, it does have me looking at some of Lila's previous actions in a new light. Marinette says that Adrien will testify. 

**Hivemind:** Oh? Are you guys finally realizing that everything Lila says is as fake as her designer shoes?

 **Let's Get This Bread:** You knew??

 **Sunshine:** Chloé be nice. 

**Hivemind:** I have gotten no sleep tonight because I was babysitting Jagged Stone's pet crocodile. I have no filter or patience right now. You’re lucky autocorrect works because I can’t spell right now.

 **Artsy Fartsy:** wait... didn't he have a pet cat?

 **Hivemind:** Well supposedly Fang was a cat, but Jagged was mildly allergic and also cats aren't "Rock n Roll" so he asked his cousin who's a Witch to transform him into a crocodile but that sounds crazy so he doesn't usually tell people unless he has a reason to. He only told me because Fang keeps breaking into my room to snuggle which is weird because you wouldn't think a crocodile would be snuggle-y but he is a precious baby. 

**Teenage Witch:** Chloé, I'm going to take you to the nurse because you need to sleep. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** You know, if Jagged hadn't told me the same thing I would've thought that was something Lila made up. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** Also none of you repeat that info outside of this chat because it's supposed to be secret but Chloé has no filter. 

**Kim Possible:** Hold on. Mari. You actually know Jagged Stone to hear the secrets of his crocodile cat?

 **Let's Get This Bread:** Yes. Remember I made those sunglasses for him, then he asked me to design his album cover? He's ordered a few commissions from me since. Casual wear, not tour costumes yet. He wants those, but he noticed that was a Big Anxiety and is easing me into that.

 **Let's Get This Bread:** Which is how I know that Lila doesn't know Jagged and never saved his cat. I didn’t even have to ask because 1.) the cat thing is supposed to not be discussed due to how crazy it sounds, so if Lila did know she wouldn’t be bragging about it to everyone and 2.) Jagged has had Fang for over a decade so there’s no way anyone let a four year old on a runway and also no way a four year old was able to save a cat or crocodile from getting hit by a plane.

 **Small Titty Goth GF:** That's true. When jagged showed up looking for mom he was all casual with you. 

**How The Turntables:** Wait, why was Jagged looking for your mom??

 **Poison Ivy:** Anarka used to be his guitarist!

 **Small Titty Goth GF:** Yeah. Mom left the band because she got pregnant with Luka and knew raising a baby on tour with a rock band is a bad idea. 

**Foxyblogger:** .... 

**Foxyblogger:** Okay that adds to your "Lila is lying" pile of evidence. Sunshine, the spotlights on you because Mari says you know things. 

**Sunshine:** This is going to be very long and I had reasons to not speak up before but I am now because I have more info and also things have changed. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** While I might interject with some facts I noticed, no one else is allowed to talk until he's done. also you're not allowed to be mad. 

**How The Turntables:** Now I'm concerned 

**Maximum Overdrive:** I'm going to copy this down for later to have a good record of it. 

**Kim Possible:** Go for it. 

**Fluttershy:** I have a really bad feeling. 

**Big Ol Eyebrows:** Being reminded of the Jagged Stone thing is probably shaking you a little. 

**Rollersnake:** Give us the dirt!

 **Poison Ivy:** In the meantime I'm going to text Ali because while I haven't directly asked "do you know Lila", as I didn't really think I needed to, I have a feeling I might need to now. 

**Small Titty Goth GF:** Before any of you guys get on her for not asking, none of you asked her to ask either so hush. 

**Hivemind:** Adrikins hurry up and drag the bitch!!

 **Teenage Witch:** Chloé be nice. 

**Sunshine:** So on day 1 Lila and I met in the park and she tried to convince me she was a Hero named Volpina. Then Ladybug herself showed up to confront Lila on her interview about them being bffs and was very upset about her lying for attention. Lila ran off and got Akumatized. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** I was a witness to this because Lila had stolen Adrien's book. You know, that one his dad got Akumatized over because Adrien 'lost it'? I saw her do that and was trying to steal it back when Ladybug showed up. 

**Sunshine:** Not sure what happened after Ladybug defeated her and Lila disappeared for a few months, but Volpina caused the thing on Heroes' Day so she was definitely in Paris and not Achu. And then when Lila came back I wanted to try being nice and talked to Lila in private about how we'd be her friends even without the lies. And she got Akumatized again.

 **Sunshine:** At this point I didn't want to speak up because 1.) none of you believed Marinette, so why would you believe me? 2.) The only lies I knew about were just celebrities gossip and faking illnesses for sympathy instead of something dangerous 3.) I figured you guys would catch on soon enough like Mari and I did and 4.) if she's going to get Akumatized every time someone tries to expose her, then maybe we should back off until people are ready to believe us to minimize the amount of times she was Akumatized

 **Sunshine:** And then she lied her way into my room, took a selfie of her kissing me, and sent it to several people on my contact list, which not only got Kagami Akumatized, but Nathalie and the Gorilla got in trouble with my father for letting her do all that. Though Lila worked out some deal with him to be a model somehow. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** Probably more lies. 

**Sunshine:** As fucked as all that was I gave her one more chance. Which was when she decided to get Mari expelled. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** While Idk how she convinced you all that she didn't plant that answer sheet in my bag or her necklace in my locker, that whole "I tripped down the stairs and thought she pushed me" thing is bullshit. Lila walked down the stairs, sat at the bottom, and started screaming. She didn't fall or trip, it was on purpose. 

**Sunshine:** Yeah. So Mari was expelled and I realized how horrible Lila is. But, you know, Mari was expelled an no one believed her, and when I tried to speak up I got shut down. 

**Sunshine:** The only card I had to play was cooperation. I told Lila that if she got Mari un-expelled and left her alone, I'd continue to keep quiet and would pretend we were friends. 

**Sunshine:** But between finding out that she has come the closest to getting Mari Akumatized and this whole text message incident, which was absolutely an attempt to make me be scared of Mari being a stalker, that's being thrown right the hell out. 

**Hivemind:** I am so glad I thought to turn my camera on because watching your expressions while you read and processed that because that is one hell of a face journey!!

 **Hivemind:** Also can I feed her to Fang because I didn't know about that shit and goddamn. At least when I'm being a fuck I was upfront about it. 

**Let's Get This Bread:** Don't give Fang indigestion. 

**Rollersnake:** [wedonthavetimetounpackallofthat.gif](https://media1.tenor.com/images/c4880614b7cab6fa225eb26e56adf887/tenor.gif?itemid=13114839)

 **Artsy Fartsy:** I am taking screenshots of this to send to Marc and their class because I can tell things will go down later and I'd like to get the story out beforehand. 

**How The Turntables:** I think I speak for everyone when I say we give a hearty apology to Marinette for not believing her?

 **Foxyblogger:** well I will be spending the rest of class today scrubbing Lila's existence from my social media and especially the Ladyblog.

 **Maximum Overdrive:** I am worried that, given what you’ve said she’s done before, Lila might try to confront either Marinette or Adrien and try to pull something. I do have an idea to get evidence of her doing this stuff when she does. Especially as we might need more to convince the school staff of this. While all of us coming forward helps, video evidence is much better than witness testimony.

 **Poison Ivy:** Are we going to get her expelled?

 **Small Titty Goth GF:** Serves her right for getting Mari expelled. And it's not like we'd be making anything up. It's her own fault for breaking the rules. 

**Teenage Witch:** You do know that recording people without their permission is illegal, right?

 **Hivemind:** So is blackmail, which is what Lila's doing. Along with various kinds of harassment. And any sort of legal action will involve Lila's mother seeing that video first, so she'll probably be all "fuck it, I'm not gonna sue because what the FUCK". Also I can access lawyers who will find loopholes to help us. 

**Kim Possible:** Way to use your powers for good!

 **Hivemind:** I don't have powers right now, just money. I wish I had my powers right now. I'd love to use Venom on her. Fuck I miss Pollen so much. Adrikins let me see Pollen again!

 **Fluttershy:** Pollen?

 **Teenage Witch:** Tiny Magic creature attached to the Bee Miraculous. 

**Foxyblogger:** How do you know that????

 **Teenage Witch:** Chloé talks about Pollen a lot. 

**Sunshine:** I also have no real control over that and I'm not sure why she thinks I do? 

**Let's Get This Bread:** ANYWAY HOW ABOUT OPERATION "TEAR THE BITCH APART"???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sleep deprived Chloé is starting to get very Science 2: Elecrtic Boogaloo on me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lila is the worst. 
> 
> Seriously, on my list of 'Ladybug characters I want to see punched in the face', Lila's in the #2 spot.

Turns out, getting around the legalities of recording was fairly simple. Markov was given special permission to record Miss Bustier's class to help work on his understanding of Human behavior. And as a bonus, record lectures for those who were absent. As long as the students being recorded were from Bustier's class and on school grounds, it was fair game. 

After that, it was a question of which one of them would be bait. 

While Marinette might have been better, as Lila had already been threatening to her, Adrien didn't want to let her get in any more trouble. She'd protested, having had enough of him throwing himself in danger for her. But once he said he felt guilty for letting her deal with this alone for so long...

The plan was to have Marinette stay with the girls, talking about her new relationship, and all of them would give Lila the side-eye if she tried to add to the conversation. Or derail it. Meanwhile, Adrien would go to the locker room alone. Well, alone except for Markov perched on top of a locker. 

And Plagg, of course. Though Plagg was ready to fly off and get Marinette's attention if things got too out of control. 

When he heard the door open, he pretended to be busy with the contents of his locker. Soon enough Lila's hand slammed against the door beside him. 

"What the hell are you doing?" Lila demanded. 

"Searching for my science homework," Adrien said. 

"I meant with Marinette!" She snapped. "You're supposed to be paying attention to me!"

"I can pay attention to other people," he said. "Especially my girlfriend."

He could see how easily that word enraged her. Good. 

"We had a deal," Lila said. 

"We did," he said. "Part of this whole 'being your friend' deal was that you leave Marinette alone. But you stole her phone and tried to convince me that she was some stalker super fan. Too bad for you, I know her better, and I feel the same way about her that she does about me. Thanks for helping us figure that out!"

That really got her mad. She grabbed the front of his shirt and slammed him against the locker. Though it would've been easy to avoid, he let her. It helped with the video.

“If you go back on the deal, then so will I,” Lila threatened. “You think I can’t get her expelled again? Please. Even with the excuse I gave of a ‘lying disease’, the staff haven’t bothered to check up on anything else I’ve said. It’d be too easy to convince them that she’s still going. Especially if I say she blackmailed me into saying it.”

“Technically, you blackmailed me with her safety,” Adrien glared. “Why not tell them I blackmailed you with friendship?”

“Because while she’s nothing,” she said. “You’re useful. I can be so much worse. What happens when I tell your father to check those messages she sent you? Or mention how she just wants an in at the company? And that’s just him. A few more attacks and texts, and everyone will be convinced that her jealousy only spiked once she got her claws into you.”

“I can’t believe I ever thought talking to you nicely would do anything,” he huffed. “I'd call you as much an asshole as Hawkmoth, but at least he has Mayura. Who do you have?”

“If you think you can protect her, then you’re wrong,” she said. “Or should I go after the others? Alya already posted some of my stories. How long until she becomes a tabloid? All your Musical friends? Well, leaking their songs online wouldn’t be helpful at all. Max’s next little robot might end up ‘accidentally’ dropped off the second floor. Graffiti in the classroom would be blamed on the one with access to spray paint, and don’t even get me started on Nathaniel’s pathetic Ladybug fancomic. Even just a sprain would take Kim and Kagami out of the game for a while. And Chloé? Please. It would be so easy to frame her for a number of things with her reputation. Sabrina’s so much of a lapdog that it’d be killing two birds with one stone.”

“You won’t be able to touch them,” he said.

“I can and I will,” she said. “And don’t think you’re safe either. A few tears, and say goodbye to your reputation as Paris’s precious sunshine child.”

With that, he laughed. And kept laughing. It almost was maniacal, which had Lila loosen her grip on his shirt. Adrien just gave her a grin, far too wide and full of destructive energy.

“You can’t touch any of us,” Adrien said. “We have each other. It’s our word against yours. What? Do you think you can convince people that all of us are bullying you? Over what? Your ‘fantastic life’? It’s not real, so why would we care. We’re not a rival you can call ‘jealous’. Though, Marinette was never your rival. If she wanted to, she could run circles around you. Only reason she didn’t is because I didn’t think you were worth her energy.”

Adrien felt pain burn on his face as his head jerked to the side. That was unexpected. Lila hadn’t been physically confrontational before. Perhaps he pushed too much?

Once more, though Adrien could easily grab her and slam her into the ground, he let her keep going. All he did was put his arms up to block.

He felt Lila get dragged off of him, and chanced a look. Marinette had come in, either because Plagg warned her or just because she got paranoid, and dragged Lila off him. She’d also brought Kim and Alix as backup, the former holding a still pissed Lila and keeping her from going at him again.

Despite Lila already spinning a tale about how Adrien had attacked her, and she was only doing it in self-defense, no one paid her any attention. Alix was glaring, and Marinette was fussing over Adrien, especially the first hit to his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost had Adrien actually quoting ATLA by going "Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player." But couldn't work it in to sound natural. 
> 
> Yeah Lila's gonna face some consequences.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like how y'all thought the injury was just a bruise. 
> 
> >:3c

Adrien walked into the mansion with determination. He’d already had to convince the Gorilla that everything was fine and that he could handle it himself. As soon as the man saw his face, his professional 'aloof and silent' routine went out the window to fuss over him. It was appreciated, but Adrien had other things to worry about.

The mansion was empty, as usual. Actually, it was emptier. Gabriel had business out of town today, though Adrien had forgotten exactly what it was he was doing. Oh well. It was about to be interrupted anyway.

Marching up to Nathalie’s desk area, Adrien steeled his nerves. He’d practiced what he would say over and over since the whole incident went down.

“Nathalie,” Adrien addressed. “We need to talk about Lila Rossi.”

“The two of you have another shoot scheduled next-“ Nathalie stopped cold as she glanced up from her tablet, eyes going wide. “Adrien! What happened to your face!”

“That’s exactly what I’d like to discuss,” he said, automatically touching the scratches from Lila’s nails, and in turn wincing at the pain.

“Hold on a moment,” she said. “I’m calling your father.”

A few taps on her tablet and it was ringing. It took a few tries to get through, but eventually Gabriel picked up.

“Nathalie,” Gabriel said. “This had better be an emergency, because I am in a meeting.”

“Sir,” Nathalie said. “I would qualify this as a sort of emergency!”

She flipped the tablet toward Adrien and honestly? He wasn’t prepared for the range of emotions Gabriel seemed to go through in about five seconds. Confusion to shock to rage. Far more expressive than he’d been in the past year, though unfortunately it wasn’t a good thing.

“Who did this to you,” Gabriel nearly growled.

“Your new ‘muse’, Lila,” Adrien answered.

Oh. There was a flash of guilt there. Adrien shouldn’t feel good about that. But at least it likely meant that Gabriel was furious as a parent whose child was assaulted, and not as the head of the fashion company whose main model was currently defaced.

“Explain,” Gabriel ordered.

“I tried to be her friend, but she showed her true colors,” Adrien said. “She attempted to blackmail me into dating her by threatening to ruin the reputations and careers of my friends and me, along with you and the brand by association. When I refused she turned violent and did this. She also tried to make accusations of me attacking her, but a friend had been recording our conversation. The teachers and principal have copies of it, and Chloé is making sure a copy gets to her dad along with her friend Sabrina’s dad, as he’s a police officer.”

“Why was I not informed of this?” he demanded. “Your school should have called me.”

“I asked them to hold off,” he said. “I wanted to tell you in person, or at least over video call like this. Partly due to the fact that I knew it would need to be handled on a few levels, and also to discuss part of the video before you watched it.”

“Did she do something else?” he asked.

“Nothing you’re thinking of,” he said. “But there is mention of another friend of mine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.”

“The one who won the contest and got Audrey’s attention?” he asked.

“That’s her,” he nodded. “Last night, Marinette and I were talking on a call and we found out we both had interest in each other. Romantic interest. And while Marinette is worried about how her career might falter due to perceived favoritism, she made me promise to tell you that she’d be incredibly disappointed in you if you tried to favor her because of me.”

That threw Gabriel off his game a little. The man actually almost smiled a little at the news. A good sign.

“Of course,” Gabriel said. “I had expected you to choose Miss Tsurugi. However, Miss Dupain-Cheng seems to be a good candidate. The only bad things I have heard from her were from Miss Rossi, and in light of recent events, her word will be disregarded.”

“Thank you, father,” Adrien said, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

“As for Miss Rossi and her little incident,” he continued. “Nathalie and I will discuss the full repercussions of that. Between your injury and the fact that Miss Rossi’s contract with the company will be terminated immediately, we will have to reschedule a few photo shoots too.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lila's gonna get the smackdown from Gabriel.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has three scenes! I originally wanted to split them up, but they're a little too short that way.

Finally back in his room, Adrien dropped his bag and sat as his desk. A rustle of papers told him that Plagg was already getting into the cheese.

Despite how long the day had been, there was still one more thing left to do. A few taps on the keyboard, and a video call to Kagami was already up.

“Good afternoon, Adrien,” Kagami greeted.

However, much like everyone else he’d seen that afternoon, she froze as she took in his face.

“Who do I have to kill?” Kagami demanded.

“No murder,” Adrien said. “Everything’s being taken care of.”

“I don’t care if it’s taken care of,” she said. “I would like to know who did this.”

“I’m sure you remember Lila,” he said.

“The one who lied her way into your room?” She asked. “And then sent an image of her kissing you to everyone? And who Marinette has mentioned is a lying witch? You should’ve let me stab her when I was Akumatized.”

“Maybe I should’ve,” he sighed.

Kagami didn’t answer for a moment, but she looked concerned. In the silent moment, Adrien leaned back in his chair. Thankfully Kwami couldn’t be seen on camera, because Plagg had zipped up to check on him and rub his head against Adrien’s uninjured cheek.

“You agreeing to let me kill her is out of character,” Kagami said. “Are you alright?”

“I wouldn’t let you kill her,” Adrien said. “Just a little bit of stabbing that could be fixed by Ladybug’s Miraculous Cure.”

“It’s still out of character,” she said. “So I will ask again, what happened?”

“A lot,” he admitted. “The short version is that she attempted to blackmail me into dating her by threatening to ruin me and all of my friends. Including injuring you and killing your fencing career. This is what happened when I told her I wouldn’t play along.”

“I can see why you’d let me stab her,” she said. “You said the situation is taken care of?”

“Yep,” he nodded. “A friend was recording her threat, so everyone knows. The school’s attempting to contact her mother, but it turns out Lila gave false contact information. So she’s absolutely getting expelled. I already discussed this with Father and Nathalie too. They sent an email informing her she’s been fired as a model, but she’ll also be charged with assault, blackmail, and who knows what else. Enough to get a restraining order.”

“I remember either you or Marinette mentioning that Lila’s mother works at the embassy,” she frowned. “Wouldn’t she have some form of diplomatic immunity?”

“Not quite,” he said. “Even if her mother is important enough for it to extend to Lila and this situation, there’s a high chance the immunity will be waved given the circumstances.”

“That’s good,” she said. “That said, I’m surprised your father isn’t suing for damages. After all, you are a model and face of the brand. Something you can’t do if your face is scratched.”

“I did talk him down from that,” he said. “If he did sue her, it wouldn’t be Lila dealing with it, it’d be her family. As far as I know, her mom’s innocent. So unless she tries to keep Lila from any consequences, she won’t have to deal with any of this directly.”

“Of course you would have some mercy,” she said with a small grin.

Mercy. Right. What he didn’t voice was that he wanted more mercy. Perhaps it was naive, but he hoped that this scenario could smack some sense into Lila. Maybe her mother could get her some help so she stops acting like this. He wasn’t going to let her keep doing this to him and his friends, but he did hope she could somehow get better.

While he’d been thinking, he was using the reversed camera to look at the scratches on his face. They weren’t too deep, he hadn’t needed stitches, but they were pretty bad and had bled a bit at the time. He should probably dig up a first aid kit and get a bandage back on, but he’d wanted to have a dramatic effect when he talked to Nathalie.

Mostly, Adrien was trying to remember how much of his face was covered as Chat Noir. He was pretty sure most of the scratches would be visible, which was bad. If people noticed that Chat got scratches in the same place as Adrien at the same time, someone was bound to connect the dots. Maybe he could talk to Plagg about altering his costume for a while?

“Adrien,” Kagami said, capturing his attention again. “Is there something else on your mind?”

“Ah, right,” Adrien swallowed. “Uh, there is something I needed to talk to you about. I know it might be rude to do it over the phone, but I didn’t want you to hear from someone else and-”

“You chose Marinette, didn’t you?” She asked.

“Wha-that’s-I, uh,” he stammered. “How did you…?”

“It’s the only thing that made sense,” she said.

“Right,” he nodded. “But yeah. Mari and I talked for a long while and worked out the complications around why we weren’t already together. And I’m sorry. Both for rejecting you and because I feel like I accidentally led you on. I was trying to get over what I thought was rejection and that’s not fair to you at all.”

“Thank you for that,” she sighed. “Though I had assumed as much.”

“Are you okay?” He asked. “We’ve been kinda worried about how you’d react.”

“It hurts a little,” she admitted. “However, I have thought of this scenario before. I once told Marinette that I never hesitate, but this was the exception.”

“Huh?” He asked.

“She is my friend,” she explained. “We both liked you. And I knew whoever you choose would end up heartbroken. I did not wish to hurt her, so I hesitated. Although, since she didn’t hesitate, but is still concerned over me, I feel like she has won this.”

“It’s not a competition,” he reminded her.

“I know,” she said. “But to calm your fears, while I am upset, I do not wish to make this a problem. I will get over it. It may take a little time, and during which I would prefer if you didn’t go too overboard discussing the relationship, but I will move on.”

“Thanks, Kagami,” he sighed.

* * *

Marinette had decided it was best to do this now rather than later. As much as her anxiety was telling her of all the ways it would go wrong.

Thankfully Juleka was there to keep her grounded. The whole way to the Couffaine houseboat, she countered every catastrophe that Marinette imagined. She even managed to calm Marinette’s ‘oh god what if I get Akumatized somehow??’ catastrophe, though it was done by pointing out that literally anyone else in the class would be a better target today, so obviously Hawkmoth was taking a break.

Luka was on deck of the Liberty, playing his guitar as usual. And though she froze at the idea of ruining the happiness he was caught up in, Marinette felt Juleka nudging her forward.

As soon as she was a few feet away, he looked up at her. A nervous wave, and he was giving her a soft smile.

“H-hey,” Marinette began. “I needed to, uh, talk to you. About-“

“Adrien asked you out, didn’t he?” Luka asked.

“Wha-I-wait,” she shook her head. “How do you know?”

“Your song,” he shrugged. “Not only has it found a proper harmony, but it seems to have hit a crescendo. I figure something big had to have happened.”

“Right,” she said. “Well, yeah. Adrien and I talked. About a lot of things. And now we’re together! And I know you liked me and you were giving me room to figure out whatever Adrien and I had or didn’t have. But I’m sorry that even after being all patient I’m still technically rejecting you and-“

“It’s okay,” he said, laughing a little. “It hurts a bit, but I’m happy for you two.”

“Thanks,” she sighed.

“And if he fucks this up,” he grinned, “I do know a few quiet places along the river!” 

* * *

Lila sat in her room, fuming. Everything was falling apart faster than she could fix it. And it was infuriating!

The most annoying thing, however, was that Hawkmoth was not helping. She really wished she had used her previous times as an Akuma to ask for his number so that she could call him up and ask for one of his little Butterflies. Now she just had to wait until he felt her anger.

Except he didn’t seem to be very receptive. No Butterflies came to her or anyone else in Paris. And since Ladybug hadn’t made some big announcement, he was probably still active. So what was he doing?

She tried to rationalize it to herself. Whoever Hawkmoth was, he had to have some kind of life. Not much, as he was a supervillain creating his Akumas whenever he pleases, but something. He was probably too caught up in that and would send out a Butterfly for her as soon as he got the chance.

Almost as if on cue, a little black Butterfly flew through her window. Finally. She wondered what sort of powers she would get this time. There were a few ideas in the back of her mind, all of which she could easily use to turn the situation around. Even if that insufferable Ladybug and her fleabag sidekick save the day, she could cause enough chaos and doubt that she could get out of this.

After all, everyone knew Akumas tended to be bluntly honest when attacking. Their actions fueled by their negativity, they felt they were in the right. No one would believe that an Akuma could lie, even if it was her.

Lila reached for the Butterfly, only for it to dodge her hand. She frowned, reaching again, and it moved further away. Why was this stupid bug so skittish?

This time she reached slowly with her right hand, and when it dodged, she quickly snatched it with her left. The familiar feeling of Magic washed over her as a mental link to Hawkmoth snapped into place.

Only for it to disappear. The Butterfly was out of her hand again. Just fluttering in front of her.

“What the hell are you doing?” She demanded, snatching it again.

This time, the mental link stayed for a few seconds longer. Only two words made it through.

“You’re fired.”

The Butterfly was recalled again, and she was stuck staring at it, rage building. This time when she reached for it, it was with the intention to crush it like the insect it was.

It dodged again. And flew toward her door. She wasn’t sure what it intended to do until it slipped through the crack between the door and the doorframe.

Now shock settled in. Even Hawkmoth didn’t want to deal with her anymore. Hawkmoth. The fucker who caused chaos all the time, and had found her useful due to her willingness to be Akumatized, was suddenly going ‘no, not you’. That was cold.

Perhaps he had heard of what happened? Decided that without her ability to lie and manipulate others, she wasn’t worth the trouble and decided to cut his losses? But being Akumatized would help her get her power back! That wasn’t fair! Besides, how did he even hear about this?

Lila was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her mother’s voice. Though it was slightly distorted, the rage came through. She had a sinking feeling she knew where the Butterfly went.

Okay. She was just going to go down the fire escape and lay low until that blew over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might add one more chapter to this, but it's shaping up to be comedic. 
> 
> Science 2: Electric Boogaloo, 'OBJECTION!' edition.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Sleepy Chloé! 
> 
> Also I kinda establish that this all happens the same day. Just imagine Gabriel hopped on a plane back to Paris after he talked with Adrien and got all Hawkmoth in the airport bathrooms.

This was… bad.

Ladybug didn’t know how she got into these situations. Even for an Akuma this was weird.

An Akuma called ‘Lawsuit’, which was probably her reason for Akumatization, had both her and Chat Noir caught in a trial. Each Hero had their own defendant’s stand. If found guilty, they were supposed to give up their Miraculous(of course). If found innocent, they could go back to the fight.

Going back to the fight would probably mean the fight was over, as Lawsuit had no other powers outside of accusing people of their crimes and then doling out punishments. Which was good, because the faster Adrien gets home, the less chance of Gabriel getting home from the airport and finding an empty room.

The only problem? Somehow, Lawsuit had assigned Chloé as the Heroes’ lawyer.

Now, trusting Chloé was a complicated subject. Ladybug could trust her as Queen Bee. And while things were still a little rocky, she had decided that she could trust her in general. Trusting her to play a lawyer…. Was difficult to say. She did seem to have an idea on what to do and say.

That said, Chloé had been so busy helping with the Lila situation this afternoon, that she had yet to sleep. She was starting to get to something Adrien called ‘Science 2: Electric Boogaloo’ mode. And while Ladybug had no idea what that meant, she did not want to find out.

“I’ve got this,” Chloé assured her, sensing the unease. “I kinda know what I’m doing. I hope I don’t have to cross examine a parrot though.”

That was NOT HELPFUL.

“The first accusation,” Lawsuit began. “Accused of letting these Akumas run around.”

“Hawkmoth makes the Akumas!” Ladybug shouted, annoyance beginning to hit its peak. “We’re the ones trying to stop them!”

“He may make them,” she replied. “But you are not accused of that. You are accused of letting the problem keep going. Letting Akumas go on for days at a time, and giving up on saving them and letting groups overrun the city.”

Both Ladybug and Chat Noir gave each other a confused look, and went to respond. However, Chloé held up a hand to keep them quiet.

“Your accusations are false,” Chloé said. “Barring a ‘Scarlet Moth’ situation or an Akuma that can multiply, Hawkmoth only creates one at a time. The longest anyone has been Akumatized was Vanisher, who was under Hawkmoth’s spell for a little over twenty four hours.”

“And why is this?” Lawsuit asked.

“Vanisher was invisible,” she explained. “No one knew she was Akumatized until the next day. And as soon as Ladybug and Chat Noir did find out, they took care of the situation in about an hour.”

“I sense no dishonesty from your testimony,” she mused. “Next accusation!”

“Really?” Ladybug and Chat Noir groaned.

Lawsuit only hummed, shuffling the papers in front of her. That was likely where the Akuma was. And given the Akuma’s theme, it was either too-stressed lawyer, or someone who was being sued. Which made Ladybug a little worried, as Akumas that were in the wrong tended to lash out a bit more.

“The second accusation,” Lawsuit said. “Accused of not protecting civilians.”

“We’re only two people!” Ladybug growled.

“We do our best,” Chat said.

“Is that guilt?” Lawsuit asked.

“No,” Chloé cut them off. “Ladybug and Chat Noir do all they can to protect civilians, This includes protecting ones who are targeted personally, even if everyone around them agrees that said target deserves a good smack. Any harm they are unable to prevent is fixed by Ladybug’s Miraculous Cure.”

Both Heroes shared a look, knowing that bit about ‘targets that deserve a good smack’ was likely self-referential. While they wondered if Lawsuit would count the fact that harm came to some civilians anyway against them, she nodded and went onto the next round.

“Third accusation,” she said. “Working outside the law.”

Well. Neither Hero had any proper response to that one. Technically, they didn’t listen to the cops. Like, ever. And there were a few times they went against orders. Like with the previous accusations, Chloé held up her hand to keep them from saying anything.

“Magic Crimes are handled by Magic Law,” Chloé said.

“What does that mean?” Lawsuit wondered.

“There are rules for when Magic and Mortal meet,” she said. “Hawkmoth and Mayura are Magic threats toward both Magic and Mortal. Ladybug, Chat Noir, and their allies have jurisdiction. The police should answer to them, not the other way around.”

“How do you know this?” she asked.

“My dad is the mayor,” she shrugged. “I overheard things in his office. And I asked for specifics when I became a Hero myself for a time. If you want to discuss that further, we’d have to bring in the Dragon Witch of Paris.”

Lawsuit began to speak, likely to call in the ‘witness’. Yet Hawkmoth’s butterfly mask appeared over her face. They couldn’t hear what he said to her, but she nodded along, and shuffled her papers again.

“Last accusation,” Lawsuit said, which somehow didn’t make anyone relax. “This is against only Chat Noir. You are accused of sexually harassing Ladybug.”

“What?!” Ladybug shouted, her voice squeaking in surprise.

“I would never!” Chat defended.

“That’s ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!” Chloé exclaimed, losing the lawyer-like persona she’d had a moment before.

“People can be surprising,” Lawsuit said. “You may think someone’s an innocent little angel, but then one day you get a lawyer showing up on your doorstep delivering a large stack of papers about your precious daughter!”

Well someone was having issues today. It would definitely explain why she was Akumatized.

“Chat would never!” Chloé said. “He’s been on the receiving end of that sort of thing, and would refrain. Especially if Ladybug told him that she was uncomfortable with anything he did. If she didn’t, that’s a different situation.”

“How did you..” Chat began before shaking his head. “She’s right. I would never intentionally do that sort of thing. While I do tell Ladybug how much I love her, if she told me to stop I would.”

“Exactly,” Ladybug said. “In your accusation, I’m the victim, and I say no harassment took place. The worst that happened was his timing, as I’d prefer he doesn’t flirt when I’m focusing on a fight, but I never told him to stop altogether because I flirted back. If I didn’t want it, I would say so. And if he tried to do something more, then I am perfectly capable of kicking his ass!”

“There you have it,” Chloé said. “Your last accusation is as false as the others. Now, will you finally shut up and let them go? Because dear fucking fuck I need some sleep!”

“Alright,” Lawsuit said. “I declare Ladybug and Chat Noir to be innocent of all charges.”

With that, the Magic keeping them bound to the defendant’s stands dispelled. Free to fight, the battle didn’t take long. Ladybug threw her yoyo around Lawsuit to keep her in place while Chat used his Cataclysm on the stack of papers, and it was over.

One Miraculous Cure later, and Lawsuit turned back into a normal woman. She was scared and confused, a little more so than the usual Akuma victims.

“Are you okay miss?” Ladybug asked, offering a hand up.

“I don’t know anymore,” the woman said. “I’m guessing I was Akumatized. How long was I out?”

“Just the standard half hour, I think,” Chat replied.

“But what about…” she sighed, beginning to cry. “That was probably a lie too. I bet the schools weren’t even closed either!”

“I have a feeling this has to do with those accusations,” Chloé muttered.

Ladybug tried not to laugh at the blonde, who had dropped into full sleepy mode, leaning against Chat Noir. Later she would thank her for holding it together long enough to play lawyer. Especially because, without her, Ladybug might’ve been convicted of at least two of the charges Lawsuit held against her.

“If you need some help, miss,” Chat began.

“It’s fine,” the woman said. “I just found out my daughter is being accused of a lot of serious crimes and has been lying to her classmates, her school’s staff and even me. I don’t think even the best lawyers in the world could help us out! At best I might be able to convince the courts to just deport us back to Italy.”

“Oh,” Chloé said. “I thought you looked familiar. You’re Lila’s mom, aren’t you?”

“Let me guess,” she sighed. “One of her classmates.”

“Yep,” she said. “I’m not gonna lie to make her sound better, because she’s guilty as hell. But, like, sorry you found out from the Agreste lawyers instead of literally anyone else.”

“Chloé you’re not helping,” Ladybug said.

“We should get her home,” Chat said. “Sorry about all this.”

He picked Chloé up and took off to the rooftops. Ladybug followed. Within moments they were at the hotel, and Chat was dropping Chloé on her bed.

“Hurry up, kitty,” Ladybug said. “You’ve only got another paw print left.”

“I… don’t think that’s a problem,” Chat said. “I think she knows. Somehow.”

“I have no clue what you think I know but I don’t,” Chloé muttered. “By the way what happened to the scratches on your face? Is it more Miraculous Magic? Think I could do that to be Queen Bee again? Because I miss Pollen.”

Well that was just the cherry on top of the rollercoaster that this day has been, wasn’t it?

“How do you know?” Chat asked as his transformation dropped.

“It’s not like you climbed her roof,” Ladybug muttered.

“Too many coincidences,” Chloé said, muffled by a pillow. “Age and height and build. Blonde hair with green eyes. Nerd. Puns. Allergic to feathers.”

“I get it,” Adrien sighed.

“And you two were being all sappy with the nicknames,” she said. “If I didn’t already figure it out then the whole ‘Bugaboo’ and ‘Kitten’ thing was going to tip someone off.”

“Told you,” Plagg said. “You owe me.”

Adrien sighed and pulled a piece of camembert out of his pocket. The tiny glutton zipped over and ate it whole. Meanwhile, Ladybug was having a crisis over the fact that not only did Chloé figure Chat out, but she figured her out as well.

“How’d you catch on to me?” Ladybug asked. “Was it the nicknames or something else?”

“You yeeted your Kwami,” Chloé answered.

“You yeeted Tikki?” Adrien snorted.

“I didn’t yeet her!” Ladybug defended. “I just-ugh! Tikki, Spots Off.”

Her transformation dropped, and Tikki took in the scene. The kwami only shrugged, took a cookie from Marinette’s purse, and sat beside Plagg.

“You can’t tell anyone,” Marinette said.

“I haven’t yet,” Chloé yawned. “Can I see Pollen though?”

“Maybe once you get some sleep,” she said. “Then we can figure out some kind of visitation rights that don’t involve leaving you open to being attacked by Hawkmoth.”

“Good,” she said. “Because Fang’s sweet but he’s only here when Jagged is and also he doesn’t talk.”

“Speaking of,” Adrien said. “Why were you babysitting Fang?”

“Jagged and Penny wanted the night alone,” she said.

“Why’d they want a night without Fang?” he wondered

“I’ll explain when you’re older,” she said.

“Oh,” he said, a light blush on his face. “Right. I didn’t think they were together.”

“They try to be subtle,” Marinette said.

“None of you are subtle,” Tikki said.

That got an indignant ‘hey!’ from three of them, while Chloé was finally snoring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chloé figuring out the identities was supposed to be just a hinted thing, but I wanted that final scene of sleepy Chloé and hinted Jagged/Penny.

**Author's Note:**

> >:3c


End file.
